Tragic events at the USA Capitol: How to talk to your kids about it.

Before we moved to Colorado, we lived in Capitol Hill, Washington, DC. It’s such a special space in our country full of history, beauty…and families. This building was just a few blocks from our home. We could walk to it and often did.

I’m still in shock as I see new footage almost every few hours about what happened there this week, especially considering it is usually one of the most secure buildings in the city, country, and arguably, the world.

I have so many questions. How could this happen? Why did this happen? How will we as a country recover? And when?

If I have questions as an adult, it’s not surprising that my children, who are 9 years old and younger, have questions too.

I see a lot of people across the internet asking, “What do I tell my children?”

I believe it is absolutely necessary for us to have these important conversations with our children. Even if it makes us uncomfortable or we don’t know exactly what to say, our efforts can go a long way.

Why Should I Talk to My Child About this.
I believe talking about current events is the best education we can give our children. Our job is to love them and prepare them for the world. The best way to do that is for them to experience, learn about, and discuss what is happening in the world today. The world naturally has darkness and light, and we can safely allow our children to learn about both while they’re young and close enough to lean on us while they navigate through it.

I also believe this boosts our children’s intelligence. The sooner children start to think about the world through current events, the easier it’ll be for them to choose the type of impact they want to have and where they fit in.

I know it’s tempting to think our silence “protects their innocence.” But even very young children can sense and overhear when something is going on. Being direct with them builds trust between you and helps them understand and process their emotions.

Unfortunately, some parents in our society do not feel they have the privilege to be silent when things like this happen. Raising children of color requires me to have hard conversations with my children at early ages because I need to ensure the spaces they inhabit without me (including school, special programs, and extracurriculars) are safe. Therefore, they must be aware of what bigotry and racial bias look like.

How to Talk to My Child About Tragic Current Events?

When I prepare to discuss tragic current events with my children, I focus on doing three things.

First, I tell the truth. As objectively as I can, I explain what happened. I try to be as honest as I can while honoring their age and life experience. Children are way more resilient than we think they are. Plus they’re always listening so they probably know more than you think they do. This is your opportunity to help them sort out the facts.

I refrain from giving my opinion in the beginning. So I’m literally regurgitating what has been proven to be true. Or I’ll said “Allegedly…” It’s important that children know how to be objective and do not just lean into your own biases. This teaches them to be independent thinkers.

If my kids have questions I can’t answer, we look them up together from multiple sources.

Second, I tell them how I feel about it. Be vulnerable and share your heart with them. This lets them know an emotional response is normal and healthy. It also gives them insight into your opinion, values, and worldviews.

Third, offer hope. There’s always light. ALWAYS. You may have to dig for it, but it’s there. Point out the hero or the helper. Point out the new awareness or the new conversations being had. What can we learn from this? How can we grow?

When my children ask questions like, “When will this stop?” I’m honest and I tell them, “I don’t know. But what I do know is even during the darkest times, there’s always hope.”

If you are religious, this would be a great time to introduce what your faith says about times like this. Share with them your beliefs and family values.

How do you want your children to respond when they feel discouraged about life?

These types of conversations provide the perfect opportunity to discuss resiliency, self-care, individual responsibility, and positive impact.

As parents, we don’t always have all of the answers but we have the strongest connection to our babies. And in circumstances like this, connection is the best thing we can offer.